The making of marriages in India have undergone tremendous changes from being traditionally arranged by parents and grandparents to modern times when the trend is to find one's own life partner. The most important thing to remember is that a marriage should never be forced on anyone. Spontaneous feelings and understandings between the partners are the most vital factors responsible for a happy married life. This should be kept in mind when getting a son or a daughter married to ensure their wholehearted participation in what would be their most important decision in life.
Woman has evolved from being just a housekeeper and a child-bearer to an independent person who does much more in addition to what she was biologically designed to do. A husband and wife look forward to a life long compatible companionship which will stand them in good stead even when their children are grown and begin to lead their own lives. For such everlasting happiness and understanding, a good foundation is absolutely necessary, right at the beginning of the marriage.
It is very important for both the boy and the girl to have sufficient knowledge of sex and child birth. For those who remain ignorant, this aspect of marriage comes as a shock, especially for girls, who undergo traumatic psychosomatic disorders. The ideal age for a girl's marriage is after 21 years and for a body after 25 years, although they are biologically ready a little earlier. It is important for both to have a sound education and clear ideas to enable them to understand marriage with its full implications and financial and emotional responsibilities together with the impending new additions to the family in the form of not only their children but also other members of each other's families.
Although most women work outside the family too, it is a decision based entirely on personal preferences and family circumstances. But one thing is clear that whether the woman has a career or not, to enable her to exercise this choice, they should have the capacity to do so by equipping herself with the right education and skills. A woman and man can have better understanding when they respect each other's aspirations and recognize what their contribution ought to be to make their family life a success. Traditionally it was the woman who managed the household while the man worked outside the home to provide for the family. Since the woman has also begun to contribute in this manner, it is only logical that men contribute their share to work at home too, which means not only in housekeeping but more important, in child rearing too. We are only too familiar with the present education system where a lot is expected from the children who in turn need maximum support from both father and mother.
FIRST NIGHT OR NUPTIAL NIGHT
The nuptial night sometimes proves to be disappointing for the newly weds since everything is new, strange and uncertain, Close intimacy is far too much to expect between two people who have come together in life by fate, but are comparative strangers, to each other. If the main is a little hasty or brutal, he may injure or alarm his wife.
In virgins there is a fleshy bit of tissue that blocks the vaginal passage. This is called the hymen. It is perforated by only a small pin hole in the centre that allows the menstrual blood to flow through. During the first intercourse, the hymen is ruptured. A minimal amount of pain and bleeding may be caused owing to the above disruption. This need not alarm the bride in any way.
Occasionally, the vaginal wall may tear following union by emotionally excited partners. Hospitalization and surgical repair of the tear may be necessary in such cases. In some cases, the hymen is extremely resistant and tough that it refuses to give way, and intercourse is more or less impossible. The man in his overanxious state, dilates the urethra, damaging it. Therefore, whenever any difficulty arises, the couple should immediately consult a doctor. Better still, a premarital check up with the family doctor can be had, to ensure the everything is normal. From the view point of the average Indian housewife, sex plays a minor part in married life. She is prone to consider it a sacred duty to her husband or merely as the only means to her ultimate dream of motherhood. In nine cases out of ten, the women find sex a strain and an unavoidable ritual to be borne with patience, especially after a hard day's work.
After analysis of my professional experience, I have come to the conclusion that a small percentage of the women feel that regular relationship is the yard stick by which they can gauge their husband's love for his wife.
Normally, sexual relationship in newly-wedded couple is almost daily, for nearly a year. It then gradually declines to once or twice a week. If the newly wedded couple are in the 18-20 years they can adopt family planning for a year or two. A baby at the end of nine months is more or less a burden chiefly because it takes nearly a year for the couple to understand each other. Older couples should not waste time in starting a family since the fertility rate is lower and delivery is more difficult in later years.
The best way of family planning in young newly-weds is the Microdose pill, which has minimum side effects. Before taking these pills, a doctor's consultation is necessary. In a woman who has borne children, Intrauterine device is the best.
The very mention of the word is taboo in most families. It is considered either too sacred or vulgar, hence escapes discussions. This is now slowly changing as many people need to be enlightened on his aspect, to understand problems related to sex and also for those who need medical advice on infertility and family planning.
With women's emancipation, men and women have equal opportunities and mingle freely with each other at school, college and work. It is therefore imperative that each individual should be aware of the various aspects of sex and its outcome.
The west has recognised the importance of sex education and has included it in the regular curriculum at the school level. This helps in guiding the students in the right direction, in understanding the nature and consequences of physical relationship and educates them on the do's and dont's which is far better than being misled y incorrect ideas and impressions. With today's fast changing social standards, it is vital to educate growing children on this aspect of life.
Sex and sexual urges are the natural path to procreation. It is a spontaneous thing and plays a very important role in any marriage. One cannot undermine the importance of the physical aspect of marriage.